A better student

the last two months have been very intense for me... i see the light now and some of it is shining on me. i read something the other day and it told of how when life becomes more and more challenging and intense it is because you are now a better student (of life), you are now better equipped to handle such challenges and you are ready to learn from them. the lessons intensify as you become a better student...

I have indeed learnt alot, I've jumped a long way out of my old comfort zone!

a speck of light....!

After three exhausting days and nights of no sleep... After three days of stress and phone calls and talking non stop, of arguing, of questioning, of seeking knowlegde... After spending the day in court yesterday, gaining a massive headache, a dry throat and talking for hours on end, and listening to the magistrate and solicitors.... after vomiting so many times from the stress and worry and exhaustion.....

I see a little light at the end. It is only a speck, but it is light! Yeh!

I will be back in court again next week, and between now and then I have a massive amount of homework to do. Documents to write, evidence to remember and document, supporting documents to chase up and find, explaining myself again and again, expressing my intentions....

Tell me, when do we have time to sleep and eat whilst going through such legal proceedings? (I cant eat when I am stressed.)

I still have to be the best mother I can to my children, I have to show no signs at all of stress or worry to my children. I have to do all this homework and preperation when they sleep. Somehow I still have to hold down my job and attend work when I can....

Things will get better. There is an end. I am growing into a better and stronger person through this enourmous challenge. I am becoming wiser. I am grateful.