Monday, July 23, 2007

I could talk about.... but don't know how right now.

I could talk about my weekend in two different ways:

First: I could come from the ego point of view and say how horrible it was, stressful, scary, how I was a victim of yucky things and how my children were also a victims, how we were threatened, how my son was held for ransom while threats were placed against me that I didnt succum to. How i was able to keep at least one of my children safe. How i feared for the life and well-being of my children. I could talk about how I spent time at the poilice station and how they have absolutely no compassion - they only act by the book. How I spent lots and lots more money talking to my solicitor and obtaining advice on what to do and say next. I could talk about self-pity, and guilt, and regrets, and resentment, and anger. I could talk about how confusing it is to have 5 different opionions and advice being thrown at me, and in the end I am the only one to make the decisions. I could talk about confusion and crying and the want to just curl up in a ball in the corner and cry until I vomited. I could talk about that man and how much I despise him and how angry he could make me feel if I allowed it to grow inside. I could talk about how scared I was this morning to send them to school again, in case they are taken again. I fear. I fear so much I cant even put it into words....

Or second. I could come from the spirit point of view and say how i was challenged. A challenge that will make me stronger and wiser. A challenge that will, in time, teach my children more wisdom and strength. How we need to listen to our hearts in such logical chaos to figure out what to do. I could talk about how i know that I have all I need to work through this challenge, and that with love and light I will do the right thing and that ultimately I am safe, as are my children. I could talk about how we need to remain positive, even in the most trying times. We need to look forwards and decide on action. This has occurred, now deal with it in the best way you can. I could say how things can only get better. I could talk about how I asked and prayed for spirits to support and guide me. How I stood strong and tall. I could talk about how I believe that everything happens for a reason, a divine reason and that we will grow divinely from it.

I can tell you I had my son returned to me Sunday night. Thank God.

I can tell you that I believe justice will be done.

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