Monday, June 11, 2007

I sometimes seem to go the wrong way down a one-way street.

My brother only wants me when he wants something. He will only visit and chat if he really needs something from me. When he needs me we are the best of friends, we talk and talk about everything and anything. I love him. The weeks that he doesnt need me, he doesnt call. I call and he doesnt answer. Or he says only one word answers, he tells me he has no time to visit or chat. He tells me I cant visit because he doesnt know what time he'll be home or where he'll be when.

I called him the other day, I wanted to chat, I wanted to see how he was. It was the first anniversary of our dad passing. He was abrupt. He was cold. He couldnt just chat to me like we used to. He didnt need me that day! Fuck him! Thinks he can treat me like a rag, just toss me out when he chooses, and use me to clean up the mess when he needs. Fuck him!

I know he'll be there when I really NEED him. I can rely on him. But what about when I have no problems, what about when I am happy and cruising? Cant we still talk? Laugh? Enjoy life?

Its not about 'need'. Relationships can exist on the love for each other. A feeling of compassion, friendliness, togetherness, experiences. Relationships shouldnt be about NEEDS all the time. A mutual existance. To be there for each other. Fuck him!

No more one-way relationships!!!

(It's harder when its family though)

Think about all those people who never ever ever call you, you always have to call them? Are they worth it? Do they really want to be freinds with you? Think about all those people who only want you when they need something? Are they there for you when you want to talk?

Are you being used?

And what about those people who you love but they think they are only here to help you? What happens when you dont need help, but you just want to love them on a mutual level? What about when you want to help them and they refuse it? A one-way relationship. I'm over them.

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